Top 10 Fun Things To Do While Camping

A couple of weekends ago we did the camping thing and loved it, we can’t wait to go back. It was the inspiration for this list, so it comes from the heart, lol.

not sure what I’m on, but it seems to be working!

1. It’s always fun to count the ants in your camp site, if they are making a circle around you, and have lit a match, it’s not a good sign.
2. “Marshmallow stuffing” is a fun game. It involves shoving as many as possible into your mouth, until you can no longer hold them in. You should resemble a gopher on steroids if you are doing it right. Once you puke, you loose.
3. Sitting in the dark, poking the fire, now who doesn’t love doing this? If you want added excitement, you can always try making smoke signals with the blanket that is most flammable. This will keep you extra alert and give you a chance to try out the fire-proof apron you bought for barbecuing.
4. Counting spiders while you use the out-house. This is always a fun exercise, and will prompt you to pee faster than you thought possible.
5. If you are staying for more than one day, wait until your neighbor’s check-out, then run over and take any left over fire wood. The campground will re-sell it , and it’s every girl for herself in the woods.
6. Roasting potatoes in the fire is always a fun challenge, since there is no way of truly telling how hot the coals are. If you unwrap the spud and find delicious smelling dust, it’s too long.
7. If you crave a cappuccino while camping, try the poor mans method. Heat the milk in a saucepan, take a short length of rubber tubing, stick one end into the milk and blow on the other. It will not produce foam, but the people watching you will be amazed, and you will be laughing inside so hard  milk will squirt out your nostrils.
8. This is a good time to break out the clarinet and pretend you know how to play. People will offer you all sorts of things for free.
9. While sitting around the fire in the dark, try to spot glowing eyes in the forest. If a pack of eyes moves towards you let the marshmallow burn and run like hell.
10. My personal favorite; when you wake in the morning, count how many spider webs you find inside the tent. It will make you feel so much better knowing that they were running across your face while you slept.

Top 10 Foods To Never Take On A Picnic

Canada Day is around the corner, so it is appropriate to lend my wisdom regarding picnic food, and park etiquette.  Sounds simple, but you’ll be surprised how people screw this up. These are in no particular order, they are all equally bad.

1. Soup is not picnic food. No matter what the magazines tell you, it does not look cool dribbling out the side of your mouth during the three-legged race.
2. Peanut butter is a poor choice. Your mouth will be so gummed up, you can’t yell at the dog who just crapped near your blanket.
3. Jell-O salad is a tricky choice. That really cool shape you left home with, may resemble something like a blown-out tire by the time lunch time rolls around.
4. Sardines are never a good idea, especially gross if you are on a date. Leaning in for a kiss and getting the ass end of a fishing trawler is not romantic.
5. Stay away from hard-boiled eggs in the shell. They can too easily be used as weapons of choice.
6. Leave the ghetto blaster at home, on the porch, beside the empty 26er, no one is interested in hearing, “ Yo big mama beat the dog down..” you get the idea.
7. Control small children; you will not be impressed when they run back to the blanket with brown stuff on their fingers, and even more grossed out when they pick their nose, after telling you they found chocolate bars on the ground.
8. If you want to smoke pot, do it in the back woods. Most people frown upon the smell of burning cow shit, while they eat potato salad.
9. In many cases it’s best to leave the pooch at home, unless they are restrained, listening to your every word, like the cat does, ha-ha, joking!
10. No microwave ovens. Just because you found one that plugs into a battery doesn’t make it cool. You will look like an over-applianced idiot, and the laughing will be so loud people will call the police. When they get there, they will laugh.

Enjoy your day! :0)

Top 10 things Not To Do At The Movies

This ties in with my Daily Prompt for the day, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

10. If you are sick, don’t go to the show. The rest of us don’t need to hear you blowing your nose during a love scene.

9. If you walk into the theatre and see someone sitting in the top row, don’t sit next to them. They are there because they DON’T want to sit next to you, or anyone else.

8. When the theatre is crowded don’t pretend your friend is coming to take the seat next to you. Doing this makes you a selfish jerk and you should reserve that for when you go to vote.

7. Don’t wear perfume! If you want to smell like a cheap ho, save it for when you go to the bar.

6. Don’t sneak potato chips into the theatre. There is a reason they are not sold at the concession stand. “Man killed for eating chip in theatre” is not the legacy you want to leave your family. They would be too busy laughing to be distressed.

5. Don’t text during the show, save that for when you are walking through an intersection.

4. If you’ve come with someone else, don’t talk about the movie, WHILE YOU ARE WATCHING IT. If the rest of us wanted commentary we’d watch hockey.

3. Don’t sit on the seat that has a plastic bag over it. Someone has puked on it, and that bag is for your own safety. Better yet, sit far away from it, because as we all know, the smell travels.

2. If your pop is empty, don’t keep sucking on the straw. Save that action for another time and place.

1. And the mother of all time. STOP shaking your bag of popcorn! Honestly… what are you hoping to accomplish? The only thing you will likely get is dirty looks and a foot in the back of the head.

Like my post? Please support me by clicking on the Mersi button

Top 10 Things Cats Do When We Are Sleeping

Those of us who love cats, know they have attitude, whether they admit it or not. Some days they are jerks, and other days the most lovable creatures on earth. Either way we love them.

They own us, not the other way around, the sooner we admit to it the better.

1. They chew on your toothbrush. The saliva on your brush tastes like chewing gum to them, and the bristles also help to clean their teeth. 
2. They open the cupboard door, take the top off the butter dish and lick it, leaving long track marks. In the morning you are too bleary-eyed to notice, thinking it was your kid playing with a knife.
3. They puke up hair balls in the exact spot you will stand to make coffee. You are so sleepy, it feels like last nights spaghetti you dropped on the floor.
4. They explore the inside of the cupboard, in hopes there is a bag of food they can gnaw their way through. Not finding one can be depressing, so they sit with the door open waiting for a miracle to run by, hopefully there isn’t one.

5. They play with the remote, cruising the Food Network, thinking it would be a great idea if you weren’t so cheap, and sprung for a 3D TV.

6.  They play dress-up on a regular basis,

…and are so exhausted they take yet another nap.

7.  They choose to sleep in odd places because they can, and, when there is a shortage of water, they will be in control, like always.

8.  They drink too much, then pass out in the kitchen, instead of under the couch, where puke would be less obvious.

9.  They give the dog treats to eat they’ve carefully selected from the litter box, because cats know dogs are dumb. And if they aren’t allowed to use the toilet, they can at least play with the paper.

10.  They play stupid games with the dog, like stack-em.

Everyone’s  cat is a bit different, but they all have one thing in common

They are all control freaks, and don’t care if we don’t like it.