Tag Archives: zombies

Halloween Forever

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When I was in grade two I won a prize for my Halloween costume; with help from my mother who insisted I wear the gunny-sack clown outfit my older siblings had worn. I  remember thinking…well OK if I have to.  I can also remember being in shock and amazement when I won, my prize was a large children’s book, I chose the bedtime story version instead of a clown one? Seriously it was.

Halloween for me became a holiday legends are made of, a bit mushy you’re probably thinking…too bad.

My mom would pack my costume in one of those large paper shopping bags (with handles). It was quite the production travelling with it on the school bus, it meant everything to me. All the kids would bring their costumes, then we were allowed to dress up after lunch. The small elementary kids were allowed to dress in one of the furnace rooms, sounds creepy I know…to this day I can clearly remember toting that heavy bag and holding on to it for dear life.

Once dressed we had to parade through all the other class rooms…all of about four.

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I’m not in this one, but you get the idea

It was a day from heaven; puffed wheat cake, rice krispie squares, assorted treats. (when I was in grade one my teacher, who shall remain nameless because she was a total bitch, made candy apples, I still remember them, so I guess she did one thing right.

 

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worst candy of all time

The only thing that made the day better was going home and carving pumpkins!

I can honestly say I was, and still am the most boring pumpkin carver on the face of the earth. I first learned to do the old triangle eyes and nose face, and still do it to this day, perhaps out of nostalgia more than anything.

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a couple of years ago… told ya, lol

Trick-or-Treating as a kid… didn’t really happen. We grew up on a farm, so that made it a challenge, but it likely didn’t help matters any that my mom viewed it as begging. I did it once when I was about eleven maybe… I stayed over night in town at a friends place. It was awesome. From that day forward I have always loved FREE, lol

I love horror movies, not the stupid gory crap, but the stuff that will keep you thinking and watching it over and over again. Anything supernatural is always a delicious creep out. Witches, ghosts, and zombies that run way too fast. One year I booked Halloween off so I could stay home all day and watch horror movies, it was awesome!

In the 60’s I of course grew up watching Charlie Brown, he and I have a long history together.

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I think about Halloween all year-long, it’s clearly the best holiday ever invented. In grade three I dressed as a witch and remember playing a stupid game where we were supposed to “sound” like what we were dressed as, I of course began to cackle like a witch, at the age of eight, lol. I got funny looks and the teacher said”oh my”… dork. Every year after that I dressed as a witch.

The past few years I have volunteered at a local haunted house, acting of course, nothing better than making people scream and laugh all at the same time. http://haunted.missionartscouncil.ca/ If you live in my area check it out, it’s the best local haunt around.

These days zombies are the real deal, it seems to come naturally to me, not sure whether that’s good or bad. IMG_0292l

Zombies Are People

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There is no getting around it, zombies are here to stay, as ugly as they are we love them. They have become a way of life for a gazillion of us. Even before The Walking Dead rolled into Hollywood, they were popular, but now…..well, we see them everywhere.

Zombies have that special way of saying I love you, as their shit smelling breath gets close to your pale juicy skin.

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And lets not forget about the ones who are missing body parts and still manage to walk around like nothing is wrong……..I wonder what kind of zombie the Terminator would have made?

Zombies used to be people before the apocalypse hit.

  • They went to movies and ate popcorn with stale, fake butter.
  • Pre-zombie people talked to each other, telling bad jokes, and laughing when they thought they should; now they just bite your face off…. seems a simpler way of life.
  • Shopping for groceries used to be fun, now we have to worry about finding body parts in the cooler isle.
  • Before becoming a zombie they would take their kids to the park and watch them play in the sand box, filtering through cat turds.
  • For entertainment they used to watch the news, gladiators, sitting in the comfort of their home, hoping for something juicy and violent.
  • Before the world f**ked up people used to have sex, now, as zombies they can’t because their parts would fall off.
  • They worried about getting to work on time; now they don’t worry because their brains look like a can of refried beans.

Life is good not being a zombie, I can blink, I’m pretty sure most days I don’t smell like a corpse, and it’s been awhile since I chewed an ear off.

 

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Then again, who knows what tomorrow will bring.