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Zombies Are People

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There is no getting around it, zombies are here to stay, as ugly as they are we love them. They have become a way of life for a gazillion of us. Even before The Walking Dead rolled into Hollywood, they were popular, but now…..well, we see them everywhere.

Zombies have that special way of saying I love you, as their shit smelling breath gets close to your pale juicy skin.

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And lets not forget about the ones who are missing body parts and still manage to walk around like nothing is wrong……..I wonder what kind of zombie the Terminator would have made?

Zombies used to be people before the apocalypse hit.

  • They went to movies and ate popcorn with stale, fake butter.
  • Pre-zombie people talked to each other, telling bad jokes, and laughing when they thought they should; now they just bite your face off…. seems a simpler way of life.
  • Shopping for groceries used to be fun, now we have to worry about finding body parts in the cooler isle.
  • Before becoming a zombie they would take their kids to the park and watch them play in the sand box, filtering through cat turds.
  • For entertainment they used to watch the news, gladiators, sitting in the comfort of their home, hoping for something juicy and violent.
  • Before the world f**ked up people used to have sex, now, as zombies they can’t because their parts would fall off.
  • They worried about getting to work on time; now they don’t worry because their brains look like a can of┬árefried beans.

Life is good not being a zombie, I can blink, I’m pretty sure most days I don’t smell like a corpse, and it’s been awhile since I chewed an ear off.

 

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Then again, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

 

 

 

 

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