Tag Archives: news

Zombies Are People

Standard

 

zombie_mob_Wallpaper_cb8l

 

There is no getting around it, zombies are here to stay, as ugly as they are we love them. They have become a way of life for a gazillion of us. Even before The Walking Dead rolled into Hollywood, they were popular, but now…..well, we see them everywhere.

Zombies have that special way of saying I love you, as their shit smelling breath gets close to your pale juicy skin.

Michonne_the_walking_dead

And lets not forget about the ones who are missing body parts and still manage to walk around like nothing is wrong……..I wonder what kind of zombie the Terminator would have made?

Zombies used to be people before the apocalypse hit.

  • They went to movies and ate popcorn with stale, fake butter.
  • Pre-zombie people talked to each other, telling bad jokes, and laughing when they thought they should; now they just bite your face off…. seems a simpler way of life.
  • Shopping for groceries used to be fun, now we have to worry about finding body parts in the cooler isle.
  • Before becoming a zombie they would take their kids to the park and watch them play in the sand box, filtering through cat turds.
  • For entertainment they used to watch the news, gladiators, sitting in the comfort of their home, hoping for something juicy and violent.
  • Before the world f**ked up people used to have sex, now, as zombies they can’t because their parts would fall off.
  • They worried about getting to work on time; now they don’t worry because their brains look like a can of refried beans.

Life is good not being a zombie, I can blink, I’m pretty sure most days I don’t smell like a corpse, and it’s been awhile since I chewed an ear off.

 

IMG_0292l

Then again, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Daily Prompt: Ripped From The Headlines

Standard

http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/human-skull-found-on-toronto-area-highway-ramp-1.1113137

The ride to the theatre had gone all wrong, the weather the worst the city had seen in weeks, and the car he was driving a piece of junk.

Buddy Jo was the guy in charge of making sure each production had all the props it needed, no matter what. Rain or shine they had to be there on time. In this case is was definatly rain. The drops were pelting the windshield so hard he was moving his head trying to look through them.

” Thanks guys, for giving me this shit-ass car.” The mumbling made him feel a bit better, it was his way of reasuring himself he wouldn’t break down, but he still wasn’t sure of the bungee cord holding down the hatch-back.

It was a Sunday afternoon and the traffic was nuts, he was hoping the 407 wasn’t as bad as usual and he could unload his cargo without incident. He still felt funny about carrying it, but was told, “Just part of the job Buddy, you pick it up, or we will find some else who can.” Awesome, he loved when they did this to him.

His sarcassam wasn’t helping him stay calm, he just wanted to get there and get rid of this thing. The fact that it was a real skull and not a fake one creeped him out, and he couldn’t even imagine where it came from.

When he was finally on the Bathurst Street ramp, things just went from being a bit surreal to all out, “ really, did that just happen?” He muttered under his breath, in wide-eyed horror as he caught a glimps of the skull hit the pavement, the end of the bungee cord flapping in the wind……