Tag Archives: halloween

Apocalyptic Self Care

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8d1554d0-66b1-4bec-aa8f-810679e00131_zps02f0d308-971x576Zombies, nuclear war, pandemic, we know  one of these is going to get us, its only a question of when…

Being prepped for the big day will determine if you are a survivor or end up being part of the masses who ultimately end up eating each other.

Enough doom and gloom; here are some common place ideas that are FREE!

  • The next time you go to a restaurant for breakfast, eat the toast dry and take home the jam or peanut butter. You know the ones, they come in those cute little metal holders and look something like this.  bbbThey are like gold on the post apocalypse/ black market. There is so much sugar in the jams and jelly’s they are sure to last as long as it takes for the black out to hit.

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  • Peanut butter is primo, you will need the extra protein boost to out run your neighbor who is trying to eat your face.   You can easily trade one of these for something more useful like a barbecue fork; long and pointy, perfect for stabbing through  chain link fence.
  • Once the survivors have lived a few weeks without their favorite shampoo and soap, they will do just about anything to smell better. Humans have this habit of stinking like last years puke it they don’t shower or bathe.
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hotel freebies

  • There will probably be a limited supply of water ; the goodies you do have should be small enough to fit into the palm of your hand. The last thing you want is to be mugged standing in the lineup to get a trickle of musty water at the gas station crap hole.
  • Don’t forget you will need weapons,  preferably more than one type. You’ll want something you can throw and another you can stab or poke with; if you have time grab a can of coke, you can barter with it, or use it for pretty much anything else.

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Self care means all sorts of things and covers a wide range of scenarios; bags similar to these are more valuable than you can possibly imagine.

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  1. Use them when doing your own business, after that they make great crap bombs.
  2. They are great for color coding rations.
  3. When scavenging for food and meds use them for important items like candy or ex-lax.
  4. Use them to  hand out Halloween candy, so many pretty colors to choose from
  • Meditation during the apocalypse may seem a bit of a joke, but it will be helpful to those that  know they are loosing it. Find a quiet space, like the inside of a gas station bathroom, 160915170405-15-huntington-heroin-story-restricted-super-169 hunker down and drift away…but keep at least one eye open.

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Halloween Forever

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When I was in grade two I won a prize for my Halloween costume; with help from my mother who insisted I wear the gunny-sack clown outfit my older siblings had worn. I  remember thinking…well OK if I have to.  I can also remember being in shock and amazement when I won, my prize was a large children’s book, I chose the bedtime story version instead of a clown one? Seriously it was.

Halloween for me became a holiday legends are made of, a bit mushy you’re probably thinking…too bad.

My mom would pack my costume in one of those large paper shopping bags (with handles). It was quite the production traveling with it on the school bus, it meant everything to me. All the kids would bring their costumes, then we were allowed to dress up after lunch. The small elementary kids were allowed to dress in one of the furnace rooms, sounds creepy I know…to this day I can clearly remember toting that heavy bag and holding on to it for dear life.

Once dressed we had to parade through all the other class rooms…all of about four.

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I’m not in this one, but you get the idea

It was a day from heaven; puffed wheat cake, rice krispie squares, assorted treats. (when I was in grade one my teacher, who shall remain nameless because she was a total bitch, made candy apples, I still remember them, so I guess she did one thing right.

 

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worst candy of all time

The only thing that made the day better was going home and carving pumpkins!

I can honestly say I was, and still am the most boring pumpkin carver on the face of the earth. I first learned to do the old triangle eyes and nose face, and still do it to this day, perhaps out of nostalgia more than anything.

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a couple of years ago… told ya, lol

Trick-or-Treating as a kid… didn’t really happen. We grew up on a farm, so that made it a challenge, but it likely didn’t help matters any that my mom viewed it as begging. I did it once when I was about eleven … I stayed over night in town at a friends place. It was awesome. From that day forward I have always loved FREE, lol

I love horror movies, not the stupid gory crap, but the stuff that will keep you thinking and watching it over and over again. Anything supernatural is always a delicious creep out. Witches, ghosts, and zombies that run way too fast. One year I booked Halloween off so I could stay home all day and watch horror movies, it was fabulous!

In the 60’s I grew up watching Charlie Brown, he and I have a long history together.

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I think about Halloween all year-long, it’s clearly the best holiday ever invented. In grade three I dressed as a witch and remember playing a stupid game where we were supposed to “sound” like what we were dressed as,  of course began to cackle like a witch, at the age of eight, lol. I got funny looks and the teacher said”oh my”… dork. Every year after that I dressed as a witch.

The past few years I have volunteered at a local haunted house, acting of course, nothing better than making people scream and laugh all at the same time. http://haunted.missionartscouncil.ca/ If you live in my area check it out, it’s the best local haunt around.

These days zombies are the real deal, it seems to come naturally to me, not sure whether that’s good or bad. IMG_0292l

Zombies Are People

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There is no getting around it, zombies are here to stay, as ugly as they are we love them. They have become a way of life for a gazillion of us. Even before The Walking Dead rolled into Hollywood, they were popular, but now…..well, we see them everywhere.

Zombies have that special way of saying I love you, as their shit smelling breath gets close to your pale juicy skin.

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And lets not forget about the ones who are missing body parts and still manage to walk around like nothing is wrong……..I wonder what kind of zombie the Terminator would have made?

Zombies used to be people before the apocalypse hit.

  • They went to movies and ate popcorn with stale, fake butter.
  • Pre-zombie people talked to each other, telling bad jokes, and laughing when they thought they should; now they just bite your face off…. seems a simpler way of life.
  • Shopping for groceries used to be fun, now we have to worry about finding body parts in the cooler isle.
  • Before becoming a zombie they would take their kids to the park and watch them play in the sand box, filtering through cat turds.
  • For entertainment they used to watch the news, gladiators, sitting in the comfort of their home, hoping for something juicy and violent.
  • Before the world f**ked up people used to have sex, now, as zombies they can’t because their parts would fall off.
  • They worried about getting to work on time; now they don’t worry because their brains look like a can of refried beans.

Life is good not being a zombie, I can blink, I’m pretty sure most days I don’t smell like a corpse, and it’s been awhile since I chewed an ear off.

 

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Then again, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

 

 

 

 

WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE – My 2012 In Pictures

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I spent January of 2012 at my mom’s place in saskatchewan, the week was beautiful and sunny.

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Near the backyard, where railway tracks used to be.

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Part of the old fair grounds next to mom’s farm.IMG_3658

Mom is 83 and goes for a stroll each day, no matter what the weather.IMG_3548

And of course there was no shortage of cats.

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It was just a little nippy, my arm wasn’t quite long enough to hold the camera.

July 1st (2)

I did an outdoor market on Canada Day, July 1st.

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In the fall I did the zombie walk in Mission, BC ( I’m on the extreme right) to promote the Haunted Mansion 10 days of Terror

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I had more fun than you can possibly imagine.

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I was a pregnant zombie mother… on the right. :0)

It has been a great year, in December I stopped working for awhile so i can devote time to my art, writing… and of course blogging… so see you soon!