Tag Archives: eating

Apocalyptic Self Care

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8d1554d0-66b1-4bec-aa8f-810679e00131_zps02f0d308-971x576Zombies, nuclear war, pandemic, we know  one of these is going to get us, its only a question of when…

Being prepped for the big day will determine if you are a survivor or end up being part of the masses who ultimately end up eating each other.

Enough doom and gloom; here are some common place ideas that are FREE!

  • The next time you go to a restaurant for breakfast, eat the toast dry and take home the jam or peanut butter. You know the ones, they come in those cute little metal holders and look something like this.  bbbThey are like gold on the post apocalypse/ black market. There is so much sugar in the jams and jelly’s they are sure to last as long as it takes for the black out to hit.

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  • Peanut butter is primo, you will need the extra protein boost to out run your neighbor who is trying to eat your face.   You can easily trade one of these for something more useful like a barbecue fork; long and pointy, perfect for stabbing through  chain link fence.
  • Once the survivors have lived a few weeks without their favorite shampoo and soap, they will do just about anything to smell better. Humans have this habit of stinking like last years puke it they don’t shower or bathe.
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  • There will probably be a limited supply of water ; the goodies you do have should be small enough to fit into the palm of your hand. The last thing you want is to be mugged standing in the lineup to get a trickle of musty water at the gas station crap hole.
  • Don’t forget you will need weapons,  preferably more than one type. You’ll want something you can throw and another you can stab or poke with; if you have time grab a can of coke, you can barter with it, or use it for pretty much anything else.

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Self care means all sorts of things and covers a wide range of scenarios; bags similar to these are more valuable than you can possibly imagine.

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  1. Use them when doing your own business, after that they make great crap bombs.
  2. They are great for color coding rations.
  3. When scavenging for food and meds use them for important items like candy or ex-lax.
  4. Use them to  hand out Halloween candy, so many pretty colors to choose from
  • Meditation during the apocalypse may seem a bit of a joke, but it will be helpful to those that  know they are loosing it. Find a quiet space, like the inside of a gas station bathroom, 160915170405-15-huntington-heroin-story-restricted-super-169 hunker down and drift away…but keep at least one eye open.

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Zombies Are People

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There is no getting around it, zombies are here to stay, as ugly as they are we love them. They have become a way of life for a gazillion of us. Even before The Walking Dead rolled into Hollywood, they were popular, but now…..well, we see them everywhere.

Zombies have that special way of saying I love you, as their shit smelling breath gets close to your pale juicy skin.

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And lets not forget about the ones who are missing body parts and still manage to walk around like nothing is wrong……..I wonder what kind of zombie the Terminator would have made?

Zombies used to be people before the apocalypse hit.

  • They went to movies and ate popcorn with stale, fake butter.
  • Pre-zombie people talked to each other, telling bad jokes, and laughing when they thought they should; now they just bite your face off…. seems a simpler way of life.
  • Shopping for groceries used to be fun, now we have to worry about finding body parts in the cooler isle.
  • Before becoming a zombie they would take their kids to the park and watch them play in the sand box, filtering through cat turds.
  • For entertainment they used to watch the news, gladiators, sitting in the comfort of their home, hoping for something juicy and violent.
  • Before the world f**ked up people used to have sex, now, as zombies they can’t because their parts would fall off.
  • They worried about getting to work on time; now they don’t worry because their brains look like a can of refried beans.

Life is good not being a zombie, I can blink, I’m pretty sure most days I don’t smell like a corpse, and it’s been awhile since I chewed an ear off.

 

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Then again, who knows what tomorrow will bring.

 

 

 

 

Daily Prompt: Apply Yourself

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I have been teaching myself to build a web site, and have a better understanding of marketing techniques. It is an on going challenge that I am really liking, but I find it mentally exhausting.

Being an artist who does so many different things makes it a greater challenge, but it is an interesting journey!

My brain feels like a ping-pong ball some days, it wants to do a dozen things at once, so my greatest challenge is trying to stay focused with the task at hand.

I find that eating really good, dark chocolate helps, it makes me go, mmmmmm, calms me down so I sit in the chair longer…..no really… :0)

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Have a great Saturday!